Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Will It Get Better?

Well here we are, some how I managed to have made it to 2013.  Everything I had planned for the latter half of 2012 kind of went out the window and I have had to rethink a lot of things.   My plans for life, my plans for the future, my plans for my health, my financial plans and my plans for this blog.  Hence the reason for this blog not materializing as I had thought it would.

Everything for me changed in an instant on November 27th, 2012.  The day the unthinkable happened and my youngest son suddenly passed away without warning.  I don't want to relive those moments, I don't want to look back and I don't want to ask why.   I just really want to move on passed the pain, the hurt and the questions.    For anyone who knows us they already know Justin was severely, handicapped. They already know his story and they also know that for him this was probably a blessing.  He was not in good health, he was in a lot of pain and during the past year he was also suffering from one illness after another.  For those of us he left behind, there will always be an empty hole in our sole and a constant pain and longing in our hearts we will forever miss our little guy and although I know we have to go on at this moment in time it's just very hard to imagine us being able to function and exist and lead a normal life every again. 

My hubby and I spent the past 22 years of our lives devoted to and caring for our "little man".  Doing something else seems almost foreign ....... unfathomable.  Now hubby and I are headed in a new direction, we aren't sure where the road ahead is going to take us, we aren't sure if we are going to like the path we are headed on, we aren't sure we're even going to make it.  At this point everything is too new, too raw and too painful.  Our minds are still fuzzy and it's going to take a bit for the clouds to clear.  At this point in time our world as we know it did end in 2012 just like the Mayans predicted.  I don't have big hopes, big plans or big dreams for 2013, right now I'm just hoping we will survive.

Right now, this blog is kind going to be a kind of therapy.  Not only will it follow my battle with my health and eating plan it's going to follow my battle with my entire life plan.  So hang on it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Look out 2013 we are heading down an unbeaten path into uncharted territory!

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