Sunday, September 15, 2013

It's Been Awhile

As the title says "It's Been Awhile".    I have been very unwell. My health keeps taking dips and dives and leaving me in a never ending battle to become healthy again.

Unfortunately, all this not only affects my physical well being but also my emotional well being.  I have read everything from magazine articles, blog posts, pamphlets to medical journals.  I have been living a pretty much "white" free, sugar free, gluten free, low carb lifestyle for quite a few months now.  I have finally lost 10 pounds this past month but my battle still remains with my blood sugars.

I am totally and severely insulin resistant.  I have to take massive doses of insulin to bring my sugars within normal ranges and when I mean massive I truly mean massive.  I currently take the maximum dose of Metformin plus 100 units of Lantus every evening just to get my sugars low enough in the morning so that when I eat they don't rise completely out of control.  Before meals I have to take my blood sugar and have to take 1 unit of Novorapid for every # above my target number of 4 plus 1/2 a unit of novorapid for every gram of carbs my meal will contain.   This works most of the time to get my sugars into acceptable ranges but not all the time.   I don't eat simple carbs - most of mine come from veggies and the odd carb that is in my protein.  I don't use sugar and have pretty much cut out chemical sugar substitutes.  I use Stevia for sweetening when needed.  I have reduced my unhealthy fats to a very low level and only use healthy fats such as olive oil, avocado or coconut.  Still I battle those damn blood sugar levels.  They certainly aren't as high as before I started.  Before I started doing this my sugars ranged between 18 - 30 in Canada 4 - 8 is good so as you can see mine were totally out of control.   My doctor wants mine between 4 - 7.  Sometimes I can get there and sometimes I can't my average right now is more like 8 - 10.  I have increased my walking and do it whenever I can.  I have a lot of nerve problems in my feet, hips, & legs which extremely limits my activity.  Some days I am able to do whatever I want and others I can barely move without incredible pain.  My doctor recently started me on medication but I am very leery of it, the side effects are almost as bad or worse than just being in pain but I want to be able to move.  If I can move and exercise somewhat I can increase the amount of sugar my body will use. Exercise will also decrease my insulin resistance and my weight which in turn with help reduce the amount of insulin needed to bring down my sugar.  So I have given in to defeat and have been taking Lyrica for a little over a week now.  So far no improvement at all but I have read that it can take up to a month for results.   I am terrified of feeding my body yet one more chemical medication but at this point I have no choice.   It seems that my body is at the point where if I don't do something and do it quickly I am going to die plain and simple.  My previous blood tests were horrific, the doctor was completely and utterly horrified by my numbers.   I have had a previous heart attack and heart surgery I'm not sure I can survive another one.  

So at this point things are critical.  For the past little while I have been doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself and at times wishing I just wasn't here at all.  It seems since my son past away in November my life has totally taken a turn for the worst and things have pretty much gotten as low as they can go.  It's taken me quite a few months to realize that if I want things to get better I have to make them better, no one is going to do it for me.  So just like the things I have been doing to change my health, I also have to pull up my socks and change the direction the rest of my life is going as well.  It might be a slow tough go but it looks like no one is going to get me out of this situation but me.  So if you're reading this blog be prepared for a lot of bitching, whining and complaining as I claw my way up the side of this bottomless pit I have been clinging on to for dear life.

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